The Height Advantage and Tall Men of the UEFA

Tall ladies seldom hear, “You’re tall. Do you play soccer?” But it is apparent that height, long limbs, and being ahead above your competitors is a huge advantage in this sport. As we approach the final games of the first round of the UEFA, I thought it would be fun, for sports’ sake and… you know, other reasons, to find out a little bit more about the tall men of the Euro Cup.  Note: If you are a reader of this blog, you may remember that I am half German, and yes, it is safe to assume that is who I am cheering for and may show a little bit of bias towards in this post. Smiley face.

Tallest Man

Hey! Doesn’t it look like he got the biggest size pants that are too long in the crotch just because he needed them for length? Who’s been there! Anyway… what a save!

Andreas Isaksson (199cm)

Team: Sweden

Position: Goalkeeper

Height of significant other: No info available. Not sure. An interesting development for some of you, perhaps?

Second Tallest Man

Another case of short pants and a tent that is not built with a 6’5″ person in mind. Poor guy probably had cold feet and ankles all night. Actually, probably cold knees too.

Per Mertesacker (198 cm)

Team: Germany

Position: Defender

Height of significant other: Her name is Ulrike and she is a foot shorter than he is!

Third Tallest Man

I don’t think so!!!

Petr Čech (197 cm)

Team: Czech Republic (so Petr Čech isn’t just a clever name…)

Position: Goalkeeper

Height of significant other: Her name is Martina, and it is unknown. Well, I couldn’t find it.

Tallest Team

It’s a TIE! Both Croatia and Germany have an average team height of 185 cm.

Croatia

The aerial advantage!

The aerial advantage! And use of a long limb.

Germany

Go-Go Gadget legs! Gomez is Germany’s top scorer right now.

And for that matter, both teams have the highest, or are tied for the highest amount of points in their group. (Germany with the most points overall. Whaaat…???) Admittedly, this piece may not be the most compelling piece of sports writing- it is probably my first… but let’s see how far the height advantage takes these two teams- best of luck to both!

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Some Tall Lady Pros and Cons, Jimmy Fallon Style

Jimmy Fallon

That is one tall lady…

As much as I loved Jimmy Fallon on SNL, I didn’t buy into his cache as a late night host right away. I think I was trying to be controversial for the sake of being controversial. But I digress, I digress. I really love the show now- some of the things I love most about it are the way he plays games with his guests where he doesn’t lose to be polite, how he incorporates funny skits into random parts of the show, his fantastic musical parodies and the ridiculous banter between him, his announcer and sometimes the Roots. I also realized I didn’t include any of the regular segments, like Thank You Notes, Late Night Hashtags, and (you’ve seen this coming) Pros and Cons.

In the style of Jimmy Fallon, here are some Pros and Cons about being a tall lady.

PRO:

I can turn off all the TVs mounted high up at my work without using the remote.

CON:

I also hit my head on said TVs if I am not careful. Which I really need to be.

PRO:

As a teenager, people always thought I was older than I was.

CON:

Same thing now. Boo. Where is the logic in that, may I ask? People don’t continue to get taller as they age past the age of 20 at the most, right?

PRO:

I can see over peoples’ heads in crowds.

CON:

People behind me complain that my head is in the way.

PRO:

People ask me to help them get things off the top shelves in grocery stores. I don’t mind, I like to help.

CON:

Sometimes they form a lineup.

PRO:

People remember me easily.

CON:

In moments of compromised judgement after drinking “liquid courage”, I wish they wouldn’t.

PRO:

I get compared to stately, graceful, statuesque animals.

CON:

Also Godzilla.

We all have our moments.